Rachel New

An Ethical Approach to Dating and Overcoming Individual Bias with Rachel New

Hailing from the United Kingdom, Rachel New brings her distinct experience into the dating scene, a subject that host Joseph enjoys talking about immensely. Rachel’s history as a teacher of psychology gives her a unique ability to tap into the mindset of those who’ve come to her, often at tipping points in their life. 

As a proponent of ethical dating, Rachel’s platform as a coach evolved from focusing on the practicalities and more into the compassionate approach to helping her clients. 

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3:14 Rachel New takes us through what's been her experience dating in her part of the world and how that informed her decision to aid others in space. She talks about the psychology and “unwritten rules” of dating. 

6:25 Coming off the heels of an amicable divorce, Rachel observes that some existentialism is a contributing, influencing factor in determining the end time for a relationship.

8:01 As a matter of curiosity, Joseph noticed that Rachel talks about what book she’s reading in her email, and so he asks if reading a book is a milestone in any way for her lived experience. 

11:03 To wrap up the discussion pertaining to divorce, Joseph asks how much societal pressure influenced that decision. 

14:41 Rachel’s first career was school-teacher. She talks about the importance of diversity and exposing people to groups they don’t normally interact with, how being reluctant to interact with someone of a certain background can be ratified by simply having a chance to meet and get to know that person. 

18:42 As we are on a subject of immigration, Joseph asks Rachel what is the long-term endpoint for refugee intake. Rachel talks about the financial and intellectual contributions refugees have been able to enrich their host countries. 

21:00 In discussing the need for cars back then compared to now, Rachel illustrates how factors such as owning a car or having a full-time job are indicators of personality, such as reliability. Likewise she also points out how these indicators change from place to place, how owning a vehicle is a rarity in London. 

25:40 Joseph asks Rachel, what, fundamentally, is dating? Fundamentally, dating means different things to different people, not to mention the parameters of dating have expanded, some people just want to hang out. 

30:10 Joseph shares his insight into dating in that because two people are publicly participating in an activity together, that is where the notion of date comes in. Using her own dating experience to help her collect data, she characterized people as avoidant or clingy. 

40:00 With the threads we had established throughout the episode, Joseph shares a couple of dating stories that stick out to him as indicators of human behavior. One where he felt like he was at fault and one where he wasn't. 

48:00 Would you rather have a good relationship with a clone of my partner or a bad relationship with the original? 

54:31 Joseph asks if A.I has provided any tactical use case in improving her coaching and matching. 

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