Heather Frazier

The Unique yet Universal Challenges of Raising Teenagers with Heather Frazier

A career parent and wellspring of love and kindness, Heather Frazier shares her experience with the stark contrast between raising a young child and when those same children become teenagers. Inspired by her own journey, she became a coach in 2019 to help other parents empathize and guide their teenage children into adulthood.

In this episode, we talk about the abundance of material that serves parents as they raise toddlers compared to the lack of material for those same children in their teenage years, the importance of teaching principals vs providing instructions and the consequences of generation labeling.

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2:09 Heather describes her work as a coach for parents of teenagers who are a unique challenge compared to toddlers or young children. Joseph observes the difference in material provided for toddlers is evergreen whereas every generation of teens is different.

7:00 In response to Joseph’s observation, Heather refers to the evolution of society compared to the stable pace regarding the human race, in other words teens have always been teens. It is human nature for us to always want to do the easy thing when the hard thing is more practical in the long run.

9:47 Joseph asks the opposing side of the conversation, what have been the unique challenges for her experience. Heather shares her objections to the titles of millennial, gen z etc. The compulsion to categorize or label generations puts a strain on finding common ground.

15:09 Joseph gives his point of view on the potential downsides of eliminating titles altogether. The deeper issue as he sees it is a difficulty with maturity, some want to remain in industries that target younger markets and in doing so are more dialed in to their youthful side than others.

20:27 Heather discusses the way labels can stick to kids from an early age and compel them to behave in alignment with that designated personality, Joseph adds to this by pointing out that by labeling or distinguishing talent and then not nurturing it can also damage a child’s long term confidence.

23:05 Heather talks about her experience as a parent and what inspired her to take up this role in the service of other families.

28:20 Joseph and Heather agree that instructional books and self help material can be dry and impersonal. Joseph points out that telling his own personal story as a freelancer is more instructional.

33:22 Heather talks about how we are interconnected and interacting systems, thus it’s important for parenting to be in good standing otherwise it can replicate negatively in other places. If we're scared to talk to our teen, we’ll be scared to talk to our partner.

36:30 Joseph asks Heather to share her take on the parental imprint theory that Joseph has maintained for some time. Heather shares how she’s coached clients who have been impacted by attributes of their parents and how that informs who they seek in partners.

40:00 We had to close the show shorter than usual due to Heather's schedule by summarizing what Heather’s goal is, to counter hatred with love and to make the world more loving and compassionate.

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